It’s been a while. It’s been months since I was so motivated to enhance my skills in web development. And I guess, this time, I’m back on track.
Months of struggling and back and forth process of moving on.A sudden stop on my motivations is necessary to allow myself to breathe.. or to realize where I really wanna go or what I deserve.. I must admit that heart break could be the worst reason for this. But then, time heals everything. Yes, I must admit I was a quitter sometimes. I just instantly lost my motivation to anything whenever personal issues are involved. Then I will miss the old me.I realized that everything can change in a blink of an eye. Happiness can easily turn into sadness. Joy to grief. Amuse to disgust. Motivation to procrastination. All we have to do is to figure out the reason behind.Then those heartaches you never thought you can’t forget. And now you see yourself smiling because you cannot remember any pain of yesterday ..because God gave you someone better to make you realized you have worth and that can..maybe..change your life forever. And you will always try to wake up as a better person everyday because someone doesn’t want to see you unhappy, and you have to make them happy too. That you have to strive for the best because you have a home ..and a big family to support and care about.Your family who’s always been there for you no matter what. And that they are the people you have to care and cherish the most.
And then you learned how to let go. Let go of all the PEOPLE and things that makes you unworthy and unhappy. Things that make you forget who you really are and what you want to be. People who made you feel that you almost hit the ground for them. People who’s not worth your time and endless efforts. You will learn to burn bridges and to choose between the wrong that can make you happy and the right thing that will make you miserable. To ignore what people might say and mind your own business. To be able to weigh friendship and love interest. To always ask yourself “is it worth it?” before and after you’ve made a decision to anything that involves you heart.That if a person you know cheats with their spouse, that person might as well take advantage of his friends too.
And then you let go of all the sad songs who used to accompany you during those heartbreaking moments and grief. You also sold the ticket for the concert of this fav emo band who used to sing those sad songs. You will listen to your new playlist like having happy lullabies. You will learn how to press the next/skip button on your phone to ignore Taytay’s sad songs in her album. You will forget all the those sad lyrics that used to be your favorite poetry. Next thing you know, you were singing your new favorite songs next to your favorite person in the world, and it feels good not to care if your voice is a noise.
Then you will ask God, “what did I do to deserve everything?”, and saw yourself waking up early Sunday morning to go to church and felt relieved. After years of ignoring Sundays with Him, you realized that it feels good to repent and bring yourself back to Him.
Sunday routines of household responsibilities are still there. This time, less complains, less arguing with your beloved sister who used to leave you for a mountain hike. You will find it cute to spend time with your only brother and treat him to a movie once in a while. You will treat your nieces as your little sisters and enjoy listening to their stories and mature enough to understand them throwing tantrums. Spending time with your mom or at least don’t let her eat at the dining table alone was no match to some fine dining with your friends. You will throw more respect to your sisters and whoever related to them because they brought you up in a good way and that thought of paying them back someday will always stay in your plans.
Because you have big dreams for you, your family, your love ones and your friends, you will take care of yourself, in all aspects. Physically, emotionally,spiritually. You will become aware of how people behave and dig dipper to reasons why they are what they are.Why they do what they do. Brighter side of anyone will always win in your heart.
Learning to distinguished what you need vs what you want will save your pocket. You will minimize spending on your expensive collections because there are other things that can make you happy too and worth spending money too. Savings will save your future. Learn to invest and save. Having expensive things doesn’t make you cool or will make your status higher. Save the trouble and be simple. Publishing your whole life in social media is a waste of time. People don’t care anyway. Having a father at work who treats you like his own kid is so life-fulfilling compare to your paycheck. You will need more time and effort to grow than asking for a big paycheck. Effort is rewarding. You will always need to think if someone is worth your trust or time.
You will learn how to be sweet to someone again like you can choose how you want your milk tea will be. Time management is your best friend if you are in a software field and don’t want to disappoint your significant other. It is not necessary for everyone to know how good or successful person you are, mostly your relatives. It always pays to be humble.
I am looking forward to post more about getting back in this field. This time, for sure. This is how I live my life now. And there’s more to life that I look forward to. Learning from your mistakes and embracing the perks of failing forward.